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Ten Signs That You Might Be Inconsiderate

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Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

– Philippians 2:4

 

We went to see “The Avengers” a few weeks ago.  A woman and little girl were sitting behind us.  There were the familiar sounds of crinkling paper and popcorn-munching, followed by the gulping of soda.  What came next was a very unexpected sound.  The lovely sound of vomit – like someone had poured an entire Big Gulp on the floor.  I expected this woman to rush the poor kid outside.  Instead, she let the kid finish emptying the contents of her stomach…and then continued to watch the movie!  Look, I know the price nowadays for a movie ticket is ridiculous, but could you, please, have, at least, taken her to the bathroom and cleaned her up?  Show some consideration for your fellow movie-goers.

I like to think people don’t go out of their way to be inconsiderate.  Sometimes we just have bad days or get distracted.  For some, it might be a learned behavior, habit, or accepted practice in their circle.  I can say I don’t do any of these following things on purpose.  But then again, I could also be doing things that others would identify as being inconsiderate. Here are the ten signs you just might be inconsiderate (in no particular order):

Littering: When I go to the gym, I’m amazed at how much trash is in the parking lot.  Water bottles, soda cans, fast food bags, and protein bar wrappers clearly left by people who opened their car door and just left their junk on the ground.  And the next time you go to the movies, take a look around and see how much trash people leave in and around their seats.  There are trash cans all over the place.  You’re telling me you can’t walk up to one and dump your trash?  Do you think your mother is going to come by later and clean up after you?

Trash left in Downtown Disney, Anaheim, California - Mickey is ashamed of you!

Taking Up Two Parking Spaces: So you have a nice shiny new black Chrysler 300 with sparkling chrome rims.  I like it.  What I don’t like is that you took up two parking spaces because you didn’t want any dings or dents on your new car.  How about parking across the street or driving your commuter car next time?

Not Using Your Turn Signal: Probably the biggest reason for road rage.  Isn’t using your turn signal part of the vehicle code?  You wouldn’t step in front of someone at the bank or grocery store, right?  So why would you just cut in front of them on the road?  Using your turn signal is the equivalent of saying, “Excuse me, thank you.”

Not Washing Your Hands After Using The Bathroom: I’ve written about this before.  One day, I plan on stopping the next guy who walks out of the bathroom without washing his hands and asking him simply, why?  I mean, is there any good reason for not washing your hands besides you’re lazy or don’t care that you’re greeting me with your urine?

Cursing In Mixed Company:  You’re an adult.  You can speak in any manner you want.  But when you’re in the company of strangers, or worse, kids, and you start dropping f-bombs like you’re out with your buddies at a bar, then I have to say you’re inconsiderate.  I shouldn’t have to cover my kid’s ears (earmuffs) like Vince Vaughn in “Old School.”

Using “I” In Every Sentence: Dilbert has a great character named “Topper.”  He’s the “I” guy.  The one who takes over the conversation with his or her stories.  “I remember the time…”  “Oh yeah, I remember when…”  “That reminds me of the time when I…”  OK, Mr./Mrs. I need and want attention.  You lost me at the second “I.”

Letting Your Kids Run Buck-wild: You know these kids.  These are the kids that are running up and down the aisles in church, throwing merchandise all over the store floor, or touching things where there’s a humongous “Do Not Touch” sign – all while their parents are: 1) nowhere to be found; 2) on their cell phone; or 3) talking to the parents of other buck-wild kids.

Not Putting Stuff Back: I’ve done it.  You’ve done it.  How many times have you picked up an item in a grocery store, decided you didn’t want it, then shoved it somewhere in another aisle (or put it in the freezer)?  Or loaded your car then jammed your shopping cart over a curb or left it in a parking space (where some poor woman had to get out and move it in order to park).  Put things back where they belong.  This is a lot like littering in that you’re leaving something out of place that someone else has to clean up.

Loud Cell Phone Talk: If you’ve ever ridden public transportation, you’ve heard it.  This is the woman who is having man troubles or the man with some kind of rash that requires additional tests.  You know because you and everyone else on the bus, train, or subway can hear them talking…wait…no…screaming about it on their cell phone.  Why in the world are you talking so loud? 

Being A Tip Accountant: I‘ve never had to wait tables or clean a hotel room, but I think there’s a reason these are considered some of the toughest jobs in the world.  Because they’re hard and don’t pay that well.  Do you really have to calculate the tip down to the nearest penny or percentage point?  Are you the person who asks, “Why are you leaving so much?” or “Why do I need to put in an extra dollar?”  Or worse, not tip at all?  The next time you go out to eat or stay at a hotel, tip a little extra cash.

What would be your signs of inconsideration?

How Work Is A Lot Like Elementary School

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Last year, my company moved to a brand new building.  Green certified.  Flat screen monitors.  Video conferencing.  New furniture.  Everything was beautiful.  Several weeks ago, we received a Facilities e-mail notifying us that the portable control panel units (the fancy tablet that controls the room’s audio-visual and conferencing capabilities) would now be secured to the wall because of damage and expensive repair costs.  Signs posted on the walls of the conference room remind users to put these units back to save the battery and prevent damage.  But as always, there were some people who just didn’t pay attention.

I know this sounds pretty minor, but I am reminded of how work can be similar to an elementary school.  But instead of five-year olds, the class is comprised of 25-, 45-, 65- and 75-year old grown adults.  Here are some examples:

  • Conference room white boards.  I respect that you’re a visual learner.  I understand you’re trying to get your point across by drawing various pictures, words and numbers on the white board.  But when you start breaking out the different colored markers and hieroglyphic symbols that no one understands, I think you might be going a little overboard.  This was the classroom artist who used to doodle pictures of Snoopy and write his name in graffiti on his book covers.  Except now, he’s using a full conference room wall to create art.  Instead of drawing Snoopy, it’s a beautifully drawn flow chart of some obscure process.
“Can I please draw on the white board?”
  • Why is there graffiti in the building?  When you’re five, you don’t know any better.  Or you think its cool to deface property by marking your initials or the initials of your school crush into your desk.  But why is there graffiti on the elevator panel or in the bathroom?  That means someone purposely took out their pen, key or some other sharp object to make their mark.  Aren’t you a little too old to be vandalizing things?And what exactly are you drawing?  Some kind of Accounting Department gang symbol?
  • At the old building, we used to have a TV room next to our cafeteria.  The TV would be on from mid-morning until mid-afternoon – playing soap operas and daytime talk shows.  Not CNN.  Not CNBC.  But Jerry Springer, Ricki Lake, the Guiding Light and As the World Turns.  Once during March Madness, I had a few co-workers go down and try to change the channel.  BIG mistake.  They told me the ladies down there quickly shot down that idea while verbally assaulting them.  Remember when the teacher would bring in a new board game for the class?  This is a lot like the same group of kids who would hog the game, not allowing others to play.
  • The single biggest reason I’m convinced that work is like elementary school is the non-hand washer.  I can’t count how many times I’ve been in the bathroom when I hear a stall door open and see the person rush right out of the bathroom – without washing their hands.  I mean, don’t they teach hand washing at about the same time you’re learning your ABC’s?  Are you really that much in a rush to get back to your spreadsheet?  From now on, instead of shaking hands, I think I’ll just give a head nod or dap.

Warning: If you’re eating, stop before proceeding.

  • At our old building on our floor we had one men’s bathroom with two stalls.  The year that we moved, someone who we nicknamed the “Bomber” began to terrorize the floor.  The Bomber would use the big (handicap) stall in the men’s bathroom and spray the toilet bowl and seat with his, uh, doo-doo.  When I say spray, I mean a) Linda Blair/Exorcist projectile-like; and b) The I don’t know how you possibly could clean yourself up after that kind of spray.  The poor maintenance crew.  Every other week, there was yellow tape on the stall door, like a crime had been committed there.  Everyone on the floor knew each other pretty well so we were convinced it was someone from another department.  I was thinking this was kind of like that one kid in class that would do anything for the gross-out factor (you know, like eat glue or bugs).  But then I realized this went way beyond that.  I mean, who would do this at work?  To this day, the “Bomber” still remains an unsolved mystery.

How does work remind you of elementary school?

“Whose Son Is That?” A Mother’s Day Greeting

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The sweetest sounds to mortals given
 are heard in Mother, Home and Heaven.

– William Goldsmith Brown

I appreciate how you raised me, and all the extra love that you gave me.

– 2Pac, “Dear Mama”

 

My wife teases me because my “Mommy” does stuff for me.  She’ll cook me a favorite dish, sew a missing button, or ask if I need a shirt ironed.  I’m not alone, though.  The friends I grew up with are all “Momma’s boys” to a certain extent.  Although nowhere near to the level of Terrence Jenkins’ character in “Think Like a Man.”  If you haven’t seen the movie, go see it!  Being the baby of the family, I was both spoiled and immature.  Growing up, I embarrassed my mother numerous times.

When I was around third grade, I already learned a bunch of cuss words from the kids at school.  Even though I really didn’t know what they meant, they became part of my vocabulary.  One day I was playing with this kid Mike who lived down the street.  Remember those white colored landscaping rocks that you could draw on the sidewalk with?  Well, instead of drawing kid stuff like superheroes or spaceships, I started writing cuss words.  Don’t ask me why.  I just started writing them.  You see where this story is headed, right?  Mike’s mom came out, saw the cuss words, and before she could say anything, I knew I was in big trouble.  She started yelling at me and told me to go home.  A few hours later, she drove by our house when Mom and I happened to be outside (of course I didn’t tell Mom what happened).  She rolled down the window and screamed at my Mom, telling her I was no longer welcome at their house. (Mike’s mom even asked her what was wrong with me.)  I never saw Mike again.

This is not what my sidewalk drawing looked like.

Another time, when I was around 12, we were at some big Filipino house party.  I don’t remember what the celebration was for but it must have been special because I remember there was lechon (roasted pig) there – and a huge ham.  The ham was dressed with cherries (yes, cherries) and pineapple on toothpicks.  I proceeded to pull the toothpicks out, one-by one, eating all of the cherries and pineapple that decorated the ham.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two older Filipino ladies looking at me with disbelief and disgust.  I heard one of the ladies say in Tagalog – “Kaninong anak iyan?” – which means, “Whose son (child) is that?”  The other lady identified me as “Mary’s son.”

Unless you’re mature for your age (which I definitely was not), it can take years before you fully appreciate what your parents have done for you.  My mother toiled for years as a labeler in a Campbell Soup factory – working graveyard.  I can tell you two things immediately:

1)   I wouldn’t last a week working in any factory; and

2)   I wouldn’t last a week working graveyard.

My mother did both.  We always had the things we needed because of her hard work and sacrifice.  Along the way, I picked up her faith in God, the importance of relationships (especially family and friends), and sense of humor…along with an itch for gambling.

Sorry Mom, for having to put up with all of my embarrassing antics over the years.  Thanks for all that you have done (and still do) for us.  I love you…thanks for taking care of all of us.

To all of the Moms reading this…Happy Mother’s Day!

 

What’s your favorite memory of your mother?

Pimp My Ride?

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Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.

– Evan Esar, “20,000 Quips and Quotes”

 

Don’t buy an eighty-five thousand dollar car before you buy a house. 

– E-40, “Rapper’s Ball”

 

I’m not much of a car guy.  A few weeks ago, after having lunch with some co-workers, I fell asleep in the backseat when their conversation turned to car talk.  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a nice car.  I respect the fact that some people love to talk about exhausts, intake and coilovers – that’s just not for me.  I drive an older-model Acura Integra GSR.  I bought it from a good friend who babied it and sold it to me with the homeboy discount.  Prior to that, I was driving a 2001 Dodge Stratus that I purchased from the company (it used to be my company car).  I had the Dodge for about 10 years.  It was a very good, reliable car.  But with close to 200,000 miles on the odometer, I knew I had to eventually make a switch – so I bought the Acura.  The running joke in the office is I should “tune” my Acura (like Vin Diesel and Paul Walker in “Fast and the Furious”).  I think if I were 18 I would do it.  But as a soon-to-be 42-year old man, I think it would look a little ridiculous.

Vin Likes Your Ride!

Like I said, some of my co-workers are into cars.  People know who is driving what at work.  When I pull into our parking garage, I see all kinds of cars – from the high-end to the low-end.  From big family vans to sleek sports cars.  All of this car talk got me thinking about the different types of car owners:

  • The Practical Purchaser wants a reliable car that will get them from point A to point B.  They don’t care that their car isn’t cool or a newer model.  The car is paid for.  Insurance and maintenance is cheap.  It’s a decent looking car that gets good gas mileage and the owner doesn’t have to worry about getting dings in a parking lot.
  • The I’ve Made it man (or woman) purchased their car as a symbol of achievement.  “When I make…” (X amount of dollars) or “When I become…” (X position), “I’m going to buy myself a…” (fill in high-end vehicle here).
  • The Sales Representative I kind of get.  If you’re a real estate agent or regional sales representative and you’re taxiing clients to lunch and dinner, you probably don’t want to be picking them up in your Samurai Suzuki.  I see the need for a nicer car here.  But how nice?  Does a newer model Toyota Camry or Honda Accord work as well as a Mercedes or Infinity?  I would think so.  But then again, I’m not a sales guy.
  • If I were to “tune” my Acura, I’d be a Throwback Guy.  This is the individual that buys a car similar to the ride they had (or always wanted) in high school or college.  My first car was my brother’s 1979 Camaro with T-tops.  It was an awesome first car and I have a lot of great summer memories.  I guess I could go out looking for the same car…or buy a brand new Camaro convertible.  The throwback part would be to drop it, put some Enkei rims on it, a Wink mirror and four 12″ Redline woofers with a few Zapco amps.  Toss in a 2 Live Crew Greatest Hits CD and poof!  It’s 1988 again!
  • The Performance Engineer is a true connoisseur of cars.  He knows the make, model, and performance capabilities of every new car on the market.  He subscribes to Car and Driver or Road and Track (or both).  He’s your go-to guy when you’re thinking of buying a new car.  Whether or not he can afford the car he wants is a different story.  If not careful, he might turn into…
  • The Poser.  Actually, anyone on this list (except maybe the Practical Purchaser) can fall into this trap.  This is the 20-year old who works part-time at Target and buys a Hummer.  It’s cool, though, because the sales rep at the dealership drew him the four squares that showed him how he really could afford it. (I know because I’ve been there!)  Or the company executive, professional athlete, and anyone else who buys a brand new ride for the “bling” effect but really can’t afford the monthly payments (on top of all of their other expenses).  This is instant gratification at its finest.

 

Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways. 

– Will Rogers

 

What kind of car owner are you?

 

 

My Name is MCA…

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I was saddened to read about the passing of Adam “MCA” Yauch.  Yauch was a founding member of the Beastie Boys who died of cancer on Friday at the age of 47.

Music is sometimes described as a soundtrack to our lives.  If that were the case, then the songs from “Licensed to Ill” would have comprised a lot of my life’s soundtrack in the mid to late 80’s.  Almost every kid I knew in high school had that album.  The backwards drum in “Paul Revere” was something that we never heard before.  I played “Time to Get Ill” for the bass so I could snap heads with the four 12″ woofers I had in my car.  “Brass Monkey” was the house party anthem.  Many of my classmates played this song while drinking, well, Brass Monkey.  As for me and my friends, we look back at this decade with great memories.  Discovering girls.  Playing sports.  Going to parties.  Cruising.  Just being kids.  The Beastie Boys came out at a time many consider the “Golden Age” of hip-hop, when the genre really took off with varying styles and sound.  And no style, group, or sound was more unique than the Beastie Boys.  Rest in Peace MCA.

What were you doing in 1986?

Cancer Diagnosis – One Year Later

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“You have cancer.”  No one who sits in their doctor’s office and hears those 
words will forget that day.  My diagnosis came one year ago; stage one
 testicular cancer.  What?!  My mind immediately went through the “How could this 
be?” checklist:

Smoker – no

Overweight –no

Good shape – yes

Exercise regularly – yes

Poor health or stress – no

Family history of cancer – no

Poor diet – no

Again, WHAT?!

After I got over the initial shock, I eventually came to the realization that cancer, a car
 accident, or any unfortunate situation sometimes just is.  That life, like the 
bumper sticker says, “happens.”

The how I got to the doctor’s office to begin with will be a story for another
 time.  One year later, after all of the radiation treatment, follow-up visits,
 and tests, thankfully, I am OK.  Looking back over this past year, I am
 definitely more sensitive to life (and death).  On a daily basis, I express appreciation and gratitude. In addition,  I have heartfelt empathy for those who have been diagnosed with cancer and for people who have more
 serious conditions than mine.  In sharing these thoughts, I hope to help others 
going through this difficult time.  Here are some things that I learned looking back one year later.

Don’t drown in your education: I did what probably everyone does after leaving the doctor’s office – I went straight to a computer and started looking up all of the
 information possible on my condition.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with
 educating yourself.  The problem is when the information becomes overwhelming.  Survival rates.  Treatment options.  Personal stories.  Livestrong.  American 
Cancer Society.  Cancer forums.  Books on Cancer.  I spent hours on the computer 
reading all I could.  After a certain point, I was exhausted.  Promise yourself
 to learn the basics about your condition, to research treatment options, to rely on two or 
three solid resources, and maybe even be aware of some statistics…then stop.  Refuse to keep 
digging.  It’s a never-ending rabbit hole.  Save your energy for more productive 
activities.

If you have to read, I highly recommend Anticancer written by David 
Servan-Schreiber, M.D., PhD (who is also a cancer survivor).  Anticancer
 provides a tremendous amount of practical information that is easy to read.  I relied heavily on this book during my cancer education process.

Laugh: I didn’t care if it was from reading a funny story, seeing a funny You 
Tube clip, flipping to the comics section in the newspaper, or stopping on a
 cable channel to catch a scene from “American Pie,” I wanted to laugh.  I
 avoided the news and anything else with the potential to make me sad or 
depressed.  Cancer is heavy enough.  Laughter lightens the load.

Get some sun: In addition to getting your Vitamin D, there’s something very 
calming about the sun on your face.  Just being outside made me 
feel better.  Oftentimes, I would take my book and cup of green tea outside for an
 hour at a time.  If I didn’t feel like reading, I would just sit in silence.  
This quiet time, plus the sun’s warmth, made me feel like everything was going to 
be all right.  When I take our dog outside, I watch him close his eyes as he lifts his head skyward, taking in the sun.  Sometimes I swear he’s smiling.  Even he gets it.

Re-evaluate: I think anyone who has a major life scare or threatening illness 
does this.  The questions will naturally come: What have I taken for granted? 
  What will I change? What am I going to stop putting off and do as soon as
 possible? I know, in reading about people with major illnesses, some have said,
 “This is the best thing that happened to me.  It caused me to re-evaluate my
 life.”  I can understand where they’re coming from.  I don’t know if I would classify 
getting cancer as one of the best things that has happened to me; although, it 
did motivate me to make life decisions and changes that I probably would not have
 – like starting this blog.  So take some time to re-evaluate where you 
are and where you want to go.

Move: After surgery, my doctor said walking was OK but nothing else too strenuous 
for a few weeks.  For someone used to exercising almost every day, this was one 
of the most difficult parts of my recovery.  I learned to appreciate walking.  
Now I see why so many people do it.  There’s a simple beauty in stepping out of 
the house, getting some exercise and just thinking.  If you can’t get outside 
to walk, maybe do some light stretching.  Anything that gets you to move your body and starts the blood flowing.

Assess your nutrition: Up until my diagnosis, my diet was decent – formed after
 years of bodybuilding and following Bill Phillips’ “Body for Life” program.  After 
surgery though, my priorities were recovery and prevention. So I went into research mode.  I wanted to know
 not only what foods would help me prevent cancer, but what would kill any
 straggler cells as well.  Instead of trying to get huge or ripped, I wanted to help 
equip my Natural Killer (NK) cells to crush anything that posed a threat to my 
body. (I think the term “Natural Killer Cells” is the coolest thing.  I kept
 imagining these elite groups of cells, like Special Operation units, traveling
 through my body and laying waste on unsuspecting cancer cells).  I also read 
Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.  The book is a little over the 
top, but a very entertaining and informational read.  I wouldn’t officially call 
myself a vegetarian, but I haven’t eaten meat in almost a year since my
 surgery and I can definitely feel the difference.  Anticancer also has a 
great overview of nutrition.  Green tea.  Blueberries.  Turmeric.  Tomatoes.  
Spinach.  Broccoli.  Learn about and incorporate cancer-fighting foods into
 your own diet.

Focus on others: For someone facing a potentially life threatening illness, 
 this may seem like an odd recommendation.  But in helping others, whether 
through volunteer work or just doing something nice for someone, it not only 
helps keep your mind off your own worries, but it will lift your spirit, too.

Get spiritual: Prayer.  Meditation.  Quiet time.  Worship.  Whatever it is that
 you can do to center yourself and tend to your spirit, do it.  Most of the books
 or articles I read about cancer recovery included a prescription for some type 
of meditation or prayer.  I’m not necessarily talking about organized religion 
like going to Mass or a church service, but anything that can get your mind and
 body to help relieve the stress of dealing with cancer.  I prayed a lot, went to
 church and read a lot of spiritual/faith-based writing.  If religion isn’t
where it’s at for you, there is a ton of resources available on the internet relating to meditation.  Find something that works for you.

Spend time with important people: Like a lot of newly diagnosed cancer patients, 
I just wanted to be alone.  Away from people in general.  I didn’t want to
 answer questions or tell the same story over and over again.  But after a few days, 
you realize that the world doesn’t stop just because you were diagnosed with 
cancer.  I love being around my family and friends, so why would this change 
now?  The most important people in your life might include a spouse, sibling, 
child or friend.  Whoever it may be, make time and let them help you sort
 through this situation.  Have lunch or a nice long dinner.  Take a walk.  Work
 out.  Get some ice cream.  Whether it’s a show of support, prayer, or shared
 laugh, take every interaction and use it as a boost in helping you get better.

What are some things that helped you deal with cancer or another serious illness? 

Keeping it Trill at Work

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Last year, at our annual Christmas “White Elephant” gift exchange at work, I took home a package of Slang Flashcards.  I must have gone through these cards ten times that night, laughing harder each time.

It’s fitting that I ended up with this gift.  I have a bad habit of using slang words at work.

Wikipedia has a great definition of slang:

Slang is the use of informal words and expressions that are not considered standard in the speaker’s language or dialect but are considered more acceptable when used socially. Slang is often used as a euphemism and may use informal lexicon to identify with one’s peers.

I shouldn’t be using slang words so much.  I’ve caught myself using the word “straight” during a meeting (as in “That process is straight inefficient.”)  Last week, I called a female co-worker “bro.”  I could say it’s because I’m comfortable around certain individuals but it could be just plain lack of discipline – or laziness.  Maybe I’m rebelling against the stuffy corporate-speak that I hear on a day-to-day basis.  Or it could be the 30-plus years of hip-hop music that permeates through my brain.  I realize that, depending on where you work, slang may or may not be appropriate.  Ironically, I work in two traditionally conservative and formal industries: insurance and audit.  These two fields require very formal, proper and professional language.  I’ve learned when to “button-up” my language and when it’s OK to loosen up.  Fortunately, I work with some very funny co-workers who are “down” for a little daily slang.  Overall, I’m trying to be more conscious of what I’m saying.  Here are some guidelines I’ve set for myself.

  • Know who’s in the room: I’ve blown this rule more than once.  Not everyone understands slang.  For some, English is not their first language.  For others, it’s never OK to speak like this at work.  I’ve had co-workers pull me aside and ask, “What do you mean?” or “What does that mean?”  The latter question was posed to me when I said an executive was “ballin’.”  I’m trying to limit my use of informal language in general, but most especially in the workplace.
  • Speak plain English: The more I pay attention to my everyday language, the more I’m convinced that I’ve conditioned myself to replace simple English words or phrases:

“Dudes are straight getting jacked!” (That department is undergoing a significant number of layoffs.)

“Man, that manager is such a hater!” (She can be jealous at times.)

So the next time a co-worker puts together a great presentation, I’ll just say, “That was a great presentation.”  Simple.

  • Slang is not always cool:  When I was in 10th grade, I remember one of my classmates cussing in class.  My Math teacher, instead of yelling at him or putting his name on the board, simply said, “Cussing is for ignorant people.”  My classmate never said another cuss word in class.  I feel the same way sometimes about slang. It’s not always cool or necessary to “keep it real.”  Sometimes it can even be inappropriate, making the user look ignorant.  After all, you wouldn’t cuss at your kid’s bake sale and you wouldn’t (shouldn’t) call the CFO “son.”  In other words, there’s a time and place for everything.
Do you use slang at work?

Please Stop Stepping in Urine (and other gym rules)

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I realized I’ve been going to the gym now for about two-thirds of my life.  I started lifting weights as a freshman in high school, trying to gain weight for football.  Like so many boys who get that first female compliment – “Look at your chest and arms, have you been lifting weights?” – I was hooked.  I joined a local hardcore gym run by two huge Chinese brothers.  Remember Shan-Yu, the ruthless leader of the Huns in Mulan?  One of the brothers looked and was built just like him.  There was chalk and not-so PC talk throughout the gym.  I learned the basics of weightlifting from old-school bodybuilders and powerlifters.  More importantly, I learned gym etiquette.  As hardcore as the gym was, its members were considerate and helpful.  Since the early 90’s, I’ve been a member of the big (will go unnamed) gym/fitness gym that I think just about everyone belongs to.  And every now and then, I see things that would anger and bring the wrath of Shan-Yu.  The next time you go in for your workout, please consider the following:

  • Remove your stunna glasses: Unless those are really your prescription glasses or you’re performing at the Grammy’s after your workout, why are you wearing them in the gym?  Stunna glasses as defined in the Urban Dictionary: The kind of crazy looking glasses that people wear when they go hyphy (wild).  They are usually round like two circles, and very big in size.  So I guess it’s OK if you plan on getting hyphy on the bench or squat rack?
  • Stop amassing equipment: I understand.  You’re doing compound sets, drop sets, or some other weight routine that calls for several different weights or pieces of equipment.  But do you need to hoard the bench press along with dumbbells from 25 to 50 pounds (in five pound increments) along with several EZ bars?  Not only are people tripping over your stockpile, there are no more weights for the rest of us.
  • This is a gym, not a Vegas nightclub: Cologne.  Perfume.  Makeup.  String tank tops.  Ultra-tight MMA t-shirts.  See-through clothing.  Are you rocking this in the gym?  It’s nice to socialize but you’re going a little overboard if you haven’t dropped a bead of sweat and you’ve spent a better part of an hour leaning on a piece of equipment (or walking on a treadmill) and talking.
  • Re-rack your 1,000 pounds on the leg press: I’ve seen this several times personally.  Guy loads the leg press machine with about 1,000 pounds, moves it three inches, re-racks the machine, gets up and walks away.  Meanwhile, the poor lady who was waiting for the machine is looking around for help.  (Actually, for her workout, she could just spend the time removing your weights.)  And this goes for the bench press, squat rack, Smith machine, or any other piece of equipment where you’ve loaded your weights.
  • No grunting, screaming, or moaning:  Tough set, final reps, working hard.  I get it.  You’re going to let out some noise.  That’s not what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about the full-on banshee-like screaming or caveman grunting through the entire set (including the five warm-up sets).  Not only is your noise distracting, it’s making the rest of us laugh.
  • The Group Exercise room is for everyone:  It amazes me when people take over the group exercise room like it was their house. (The group exercise room is the room usually used for classes – you know, the room with all of the mirrors.)  I’ve seen people take up a big chunk of the room by creating their own circuit stations, training MMA and practicing dance routines (with the music).  I just want to cool down, stretch and maybe do some core work.  I don’t want to watch (or hear) your hip-hop dance routine.
  • There’s a line for your machine: You get to the gym early to nab your favorite piece of cardio equipment.  I respect that.  But after 90 minutes, maybe it’s time to move on to something else – especially when the gym is packed and people are mulling around waiting for a machine to open up.  Try this.  Go harder for a shorter amount of time.  This type of training works well, too.
  • Use your towel and flip-flops: If I’m sitting down trying to get to my locker, I would rather not have you standing (with no towel) next to me.  Likewise, I don’t think the other guys in the locker room want to run into your hairy, naked body by accident.  And for your own health, please put your flip-flops on.  Probably the most disturbing thing to me are guys walking around without anything on their feet.  Are you not concerned or sickened by the thought of walking in _____ (insert “germ,” “disease” or “bodily fluid” here)?
What are some of your gym “rules”?

 

Grease, Jabbawockeez, Archie Comic Books and Mario Lopez

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How do you connect with your kids?

We recently took a family trip to Las Vegas and saw the Jabbawockeez. I don’t know who enjoyed it more, me or my daughter. (If you get a chance, check it out – it’s an awesome show.)  Seeing the Jabbawockeez reminded me of the times I would, to the horror of my daughter, show her my old-school B-boy skills by popping and waving.  You know what I’m talking about! Although it didn’t quite look like this (By the way, after seeing Breakin’ when it was released in the 1980’s, you’re lying if you say you didn’t run home and grab a broom!)…

 

 

When my daughter was younger, as cute as the Wiggles, Dora the Explorer, and Teletubbies are, it’s not as if we could sit down and find some common ground to talk about.  How much is there to say about Boots the Monkey or Tinky Winky?  As my daughter got older, we started to find some things of mutual interest:

  • Music
  • Comic Books
  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Basketball

Recently, she bought Grease and Saved by the Bell t-shirts.  My wife and I kept telling her to watch Grease because High School Musical reminded us of the 70’s classic.  I mean, I saw Grease when it first came out, and I was eight; although, I completely forgot about the adult themes. (Remember Rizzo’s possible pregnancy and how about the lyrics to “Summer Nights” or “Greased Lightnin’?”)  And our daughter made the Saved by the Bell connection when we mentioned that it was Mario Lopez’s gig long before ABDC (America’s Best Dance Crew – where we discovered the Jabbawockeez).

Common Interests and Opportunities

Lately, I’ve found these connections, no matter how small, to be extremely valuable.  Long gone are the games of “Peek-a-Boo.”  She doesn’t want me to read her a bedtime story.  There are no more pretend conversations using her stuffed animals.  What I look for now are opportunities for dialogue, moments where we can interact and share a story, something funny, or even a life lesson.  It’s hard enough getting a teen to talk.  It’s much easier when the conversation is organic and comes as a result of a topic of common interest.  Here are some random examples:

  • Yes, that’s the same Lindsay Lohan from The Parent Trap.  You tell me – how do you think she went from cute child star to where she is today?
  • No, Chris Brown and Rhianna is not a good example of a loving relationship.
  • Let me tell you about the time your Uncle Anatole and I stood in line for six hours to catch the first showing of The Empire Strikes Back.
  • Yeah, Hunger Games was good but it reminded me a lot of this great movie called The Running Man.
  • One day we’ll go to Comic Con and you’ll understand what the big deal is about.
  • No, Eddie Murphy does more than just animated voices.  I don’t think you understand how big a star he was back in the day.
  • Seriously, I was on the high school football team – all four years, as a matter of fact.  No, I didn’t play all that much.
  • I know the play just started but I’m completely lost.  What is “Les Miz” about again?
  • Why would they ruin this classic song by remaking it?  This is terrible.  Come here and let me play the original for you.
In what ways do you share, teach and learn with your kids?  Here are a few others areas I’ve found helpful:
  • Favorite school subjects
  • Food
  • Volunteering
  • Hobbies
  • Musical instruments
  • Sports teams
  • Martial arts

It’s April – Do You Know Where Your New Year’s Resolutions Are?

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Like seasonal migratory patterns of some animal species, there’s a yearly and familiar event that takes place at my local 24-Hour Fitness right about late December.  Faces you’ve never seen before.  Sales desks lined with prospective customers.  All weight benches and machines taken.  People standing in line to jump on a treadmill.  Waiting list at the front desk for the next Spin or Zumba class.

Then March hits.

Suddenly the strange faces are gone, sales desks are empty and there is no waiting for your favorite cardio/weight machine or workout class.

What happened?

At least some of these people made it into March.  Statistics show that we will break or fail on more than 80% of our resolutions come the end of January.  Some of these reasons are:

  • Motivation:  Motivation is a fleeting emotion that eventually fades.  Something fires us up, we jump in, realize it’s harder than we thought and then stop.  The motivation evaporates.  Watching the UFC on tv is really fun when you’re sitting on the couch with your buddies.  I thought taking a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) class would be fun.  Getting your face punched in by a 20-something MMA fighter wanna-be is pretty de-motivating.  Needless to say, I didn’t last long in that class.
  • TOO BIG Goals:  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with thinking and dreaming big…but it has to be somewhat realistic in order for your brain to wrap around and accept the idea.  By the first week of January, you can’t drop the 20 pounds you gained during the holidays eating sugar cookies and drinking eggnog.  Your Hollywood screenplay or great American novel probably isn’t going to be picked up within a week of it being sent out.  You can’t have $1 million saved by the end of the year (well, most of us, anyway).  At some point your brain says, “He/she has got to be kidding themselves.  They can’t be serious.”
  • I Forgot:  January 2nd rolls around and life goes on.  The kids go back to school.  You go back to work.  The credit card bill from last year’s gifts need to be paid.  Your pants don’t fit right from the weight you gained over the holiday.  Resolutions?  They fall by the wayside.  We say “I’ll think about them later” and then move on.

Get Back In The Game! 

The year is still young.  Plenty of time to make 2012 a great year.  Here are some “R’s” to get us all rolling again:

  • Re-visit: What were some of those resolutions that you put down at the end of last year?  Strip them down and ask yourself: Do I still really want to do this?  Is this unrealistic?  Do I need to make some adjustments?  If your goal was to run a marathon in June and you don’t know where your running shoes are, chances are you’ll need to re-visit and…
  • Revise: The great thing about goals is they can be revised.  Nothing needs to be set in stone.  If the time frame that you wrote down looks unrealistic, revise the date – but take immediate action to start moving you forward.  This sends a signal to your brain saying, “I’m serious about this.”
  • Re-think: The most valuable thing I’ve learned about goal-setting is to simply sit down in a quiet place and identify what you really want.  What is your ideal or perfect situation?  At the end of 2012, what do you want to look back on with joy and satisfaction?  Ask yourself: What do I need to start doing now?  Start from there and work backwards.
  • Re-write: If you need to start fresh then start fresh.  Re-write what you had down at the beginning of the year.  Write down some new goals.  If you need help, there are a ton of resources on goal-setting out there.  Some of my favorites are Brian Tracy’s Focal Point and Darren Hardy’s Compound Effect.
  • Resolve: Decide now that at the end of the year you’re going to look back on 2012 and say “Man, what a fantastic year!  I’m proud of what I accomplished and can’t wait to start the New Year!”

Question: What are some New Year’s resolutions that you have added, removed or revised?